Mithmeoi

There is a tale that must be told,
of a greedy little Hobbit who lived in a hole.
He wanted everything of his heart’s desire,
and so he packed up everything and went out of the Shire.

He called to Doney,
His faithful Pony.
His neighbors all did scoff,
as he said, “Let’s be off!”

As he was riding along,
he began to sing a little song,
about the tales of old
that he’d been told.

He traveled off to Bree,
wanting just to see,
He had often heard of the how men could grow a beard,
He didn’t know that Hobbits just aren’t geared,
To have fuzzies on their chin,
Nor are they supposed to be thin.

Upon entering Bree,
He felt as if he were free,
He wandered about the town,
tripping once and falling down.
The Hobbit sat in the mud and bawled,
A bearded man saw the Hobbit called,
Come here little Hobbit,
and do please stop it,
You’re making a scene,
So let’s get you inside where it’s clean.

The Hobbit stared at the man’s beard so bushy,
He reached up and felt it was squishy.
I want one!
Just for fun!
The man stopped,
and an idea popped.

“Hobbits can’t grow a beard,
besides that’d just be weird”,
The Hobbit stuck his nose in the air,
“I always get what I want, so I don’t care!”
The man made a sarcastic cough,
The Hobbit started to scoff.

“All right,
Hold tight.
I’ve got a plan,
he said as he grabbed a pan.
He went over to Doney,
the little pony,
and grabbed a clump of hair,
he began to trim away with great care.

The man fashioned a Hobbit size beard,
and fit it to the Hobbit and then sneered.
“There’s your beard you silly Hobbit!”
The Hobbit grabbed a near by goblet,
He looked and what he saw was quite ridiculous,
Even if the man’s work was meticulous.

The Hobbit sighed,
“I guess you tried.
It just goes to show,
you can’t have everything you know.”
The man smiled,
As if to a child,
He took the fake beard off the Hobbit,
and tossed it.
“I guess this has been a good lesson.”
The Hobbit sighed in concession.
“Not to clip my pony’s hair,
from behind his derriere.”
As Doney tried with his clipped tail to flick at flies,
the bearded man just rolled his eyes.

This  poem was inspired by J.R.R. Tolkien’s Hobbits, and was written by me, Kris.