Mithmeoi

Another review cause well I been busy watching them.  Please note ALL misspellings were done on purpose, so for you grammar nazis please don’t point them out.  So I will say I went into this movie with low expectations to begin with cause quite frankly I think the whole 2012 thing is a load of phooey.  Secondly it’s a disaster movies and most are all the same thing so you see one you seen ‘em all.  Although I must say “Knowing” was really good for being a disaster type movie, I liked it and would probably buy it sometime.  Anyways!  To the review.  The films started off incredibly slow.  I think it took a good forty-five minutes of blah blah blah I don’t care what’s going on right now nonsense, oh wait was there mention of government conspiracy just now?

Then BAM a mini mart splits in half while these two people in said mini mart are like “WOAH MAN THIS IN INTENSE!”  Then oh oh… wait it’s back to someone talking.  WHAT?  Oh come on, you have the first sign of action and it gets cut short…what a killjoy!  I was hoping for action, screaming people, fire and brimstone, but now what do you get after this?  The fakey Governator pops up he goes about saying “Ok ye Californies, do not panic.  Da worst is ova, you have nothin to fear.  Stay calm, I repeat do not panic.”  THEN BAM the earth splits open again and everyone’s like “AHHHHH!!! We all gonna DIE!!! AHHHHH!!!!”  So then Cally-for-ni-aye starts to slip off into the ocean and the whole nation rejoiced…er I mean panicked.

This is when the governments of the world’s conspiracies come to light!  Wow that was an awkward sentence, but I do not care.  So they all reveal that they have big ships, supposedly “space ships” (which really turn out to be really big boats and I will comment on that more later.) that will take all the richies and pollytical peoples away from harm therefore ensuring the survival of the the hoomun race.

So then the movie follows a group of people who I couldn’t care less about because they have no back story or personality whatsoever.  In fact I was hoping most of the time they would all die.  They barely survive a bunch of never ever humanly possible feats of escaping impending DOOM to finally make to Antartica.  Which by the way has now, because of earthquakes and the earth belching out lava, shifted to where Iowa or whatever flat boring state it was that they mentioned used to be located.

They get picked up by some random Asians that just happen to by flying over and are taken to one of the giant “space ships”.   This is when they discovery the giant government conspiracy to pack all the richies and pollytical people onto these ships.  Then one of the pollytical people has a change of heart or maybe it was a famoose scientist… I dunno.  Either way this richy decided to let all these screaming people on board the ship just in the nick of time to avoid the HUGENORMOUS Tsunami that is about to slam into them.  SO these ginormous ships survive the HUGENORMOUS Tsunami and they all sail around the planet till they make it to the giant land mass that was once all the contents and is now just one big one… right ok.

So I got one HUGE problem about this movie, other than it was freaking preachy (yeah like we need to put aside our differences blah blah blah), 2012 was supposed to be like apocalypse end of the world type thing.  This movie did not deliver that at all.  It was like oh oh we’re gonna survive this.  It’s just gonna be a huge disaster and we’ll pack everyone onto big ships, ARCS man that’s all they were were giant arcs.  It’s basically a horribly butchered Noah’s Arc only with greedy selfish people.  Instead of rain making a giant flood it’s the continents shifting.  BAH I wanted something way more, the story was BORING, the characters were flatter than a piece of paper, and the whole movie was just epic fail.  Ok well it did have ONE redeeming scene and that was when California was slipping off into the ocean.  Not only do I like the idea, but there was some really cool CGI in this part.  But yeah just give this one a skip, go rent “Knowing” it’s way better, has good actors in it, and great cgi and unlike this one keeps you guessing with a unique storyline.  I could probably add more to this review but I don’t feel like making it any longer.  So yeah that’s my take on it… avoid it!  :P