Movie Time!
Published July 31, 2010 | 
I’ve seen so many movies in the last couple weeks. So here’s two reviews, and I’ve got more to come,
The Road:
I had seen the trailers and thought, “Hey! This looks like it could be a cool movie, lots of action!” Boy was I wrong! This movie is so boring I started to fall asleep, I’m glad I did not waste my money on it in cinemas.
I think the trailers for this one were the most misleading I’ve ever seen. The only redeeming quality this film had was Viggo, but even he could not save it.
One thing I hated was the shots in this film jumped around so much it got confusing. Flash backs are nice, yes but freaking put them in front of the scene that would make more sense. For example they show a shot of two people playing the piano, ok cool but then they cut to some random shot that has nothing to do with a piano. Then ten fifteen minutes later they actually show the reason for the flashback, the father finds a piano and then mourns the loss of his wife. Why couldn’t they have just put that AFTER he finds the piano, it would have made much more sense.
Storyline was so tedious I ended up looking at the clock about five times before the movie ended thinking “When is this ever going to end? Does the kid ever get kidnapped?” No he does not, even though it looked like it in the trailer. No all this movie is is the trip a father and son take to the east coast, and the father dies and leaves the kid and… FFFFFFFFF BORING! All the other characters in the film stay around for maybe a grand total of five minutes, then you don’t see them anymore. This movie was about two hours long, it felt more like four. They are put in so many situations where an amazing action sequence could have been put in but no they just LEAVE. Nobody chases them or anything. So much setup and so much let down. I kept hoping till the end.
And another thing! They show so many flash backs but not ONCE do they actually say WHY the world is in chaos now, why barely anybody is alive, why all animals are dead, etc. That annoyed me to no end. They showed random giant fires, cities that are completely trashed, but never once even drop a hint of what happened. Ok I can use my imagination but it would be nice to know what these people went through BEFORE just to have a little background.
So my opinion, boring boring boring movie, I will never watch it again. Don’t even bother with it unless you want to watch a bunch of lame dialog and a crybaby boy tailing his paranoid father around a world that’s been blown up and burned to a crisp just to see him die at the end.
The Book of Eli:
I went into this movie hoping it wouldn’t suck. I’ve seen quite a few bad post apocalyptic films lately and none would I watch again. Either boring beyond all reason or there was just no point to the movie at all. So this film was refreshing. It’s not the most fast paced movie ever, but it had a good storyline, and interesting characters, it also makes you think a little.
The ending isn’t terribly predictable actually, which I liked. It was kind of a twist ending. The acting was pretty good and the storyline was rather interesting. One thing that really caught my attention was the music. It’s eery but quite good, slow but still enjoyable. Really adds to the feel of the film. The entire movie is shot in a sepia tone, which I haven’t seen for a while.
It was also kind of nice to see the Bible mentioned in a major film and it wasn’t being bashed. It showed how it will never be used for evil, the “twist” near the end and how a true believer is so devoted even to the end when they hear “the call”.
The movie is a little gory in places but it doesn’t really dwell on it.
I would recommend this movie to anyone who enjoys post apocalyptic type films, and movies that provoke a little thought.
More reviews soon, cause I just got back from “Knight and Day”, will be seeing “Inception” soon and I have seen “Repo Man” “Shrek 4″ and “Robin Hood”. I’ll put a little blip about all of them here.
2012 the End of Days… no wait nevermind
Published December 5, 2009 | 
Another review cause well I been busy watching them. Please note ALL misspellings were done on purpose, so for you grammar nazis please don’t point them out. So I will say I went into this movie with low expectations to begin with cause quite frankly I think the whole 2012 thing is a load of phooey. Secondly it’s a disaster movies and most are all the same thing so you see one you seen ‘em all. Although I must say “Knowing” was really good for being a disaster type movie, I liked it and would probably buy it sometime. Anyways! To the review. The films started off incredibly slow. I think it took a good forty-five minutes of blah blah blah I don’t care what’s going on right now nonsense, oh wait was there mention of government conspiracy just now?
Then BAM a mini mart splits in half while these two people in said mini mart are like “WOAH MAN THIS IN INTENSE!” Then oh oh… wait it’s back to someone talking. WHAT? Oh come on, you have the first sign of action and it gets cut short…what a killjoy! I was hoping for action, screaming people, fire and brimstone, but now what do you get after this? The fakey Governator pops up he goes about saying “Ok ye Californies, do not panic. Da worst is ova, you have nothin to fear. Stay calm, I repeat do not panic.” THEN BAM the earth splits open again and everyone’s like “AHHHHH!!! We all gonna DIE!!! AHHHHH!!!!” So then Cally-for-ni-aye starts to slip off into the ocean and the whole nation rejoiced…er I mean panicked.
This is when the governments of the world’s conspiracies come to light! Wow that was an awkward sentence, but I do not care. So they all reveal that they have big ships, supposedly “space ships” (which really turn out to be really big boats and I will comment on that more later.) that will take all the richies and pollytical peoples away from harm therefore ensuring the survival of the the hoomun race.
So then the movie follows a group of people who I couldn’t care less about because they have no back story or personality whatsoever. In fact I was hoping most of the time they would all die. They barely survive a bunch of never ever humanly possible feats of escaping impending DOOM to finally make to Antartica. Which by the way has now, because of earthquakes and the earth belching out lava, shifted to where Iowa or whatever flat boring state it was that they mentioned used to be located.
They get picked up by some random Asians that just happen to by flying over and are taken to one of the giant “space ships”. This is when they discovery the giant government conspiracy to pack all the richies and pollytical people onto these ships. Then one of the pollytical people has a change of heart or maybe it was a famoose scientist… I dunno. Either way this richy decided to let all these screaming people on board the ship just in the nick of time to avoid the HUGENORMOUS Tsunami that is about to slam into them. SO these ginormous ships survive the HUGENORMOUS Tsunami and they all sail around the planet till they make it to the giant land mass that was once all the contents and is now just one big one… right ok.
So I got one HUGE problem about this movie, other than it was freaking preachy (yeah like we need to put aside our differences blah blah blah), 2012 was supposed to be like apocalypse end of the world type thing. This movie did not deliver that at all. It was like oh oh we’re gonna survive this. It’s just gonna be a huge disaster and we’ll pack everyone onto big ships, ARCS man that’s all they were were giant arcs. It’s basically a horribly butchered Noah’s Arc only with greedy selfish people. Instead of rain making a giant flood it’s the continents shifting. BAH I wanted something way more, the story was BORING, the characters were flatter than a piece of paper, and the whole movie was just epic fail. Ok well it did have ONE redeeming scene and that was when California was slipping off into the ocean. Not only do I like the idea, but there was some really cool CGI in this part. But yeah just give this one a skip, go rent “Knowing” it’s way better, has good actors in it, and great cgi and unlike this one keeps you guessing with a unique storyline. I could probably add more to this review but I don’t feel like making it any longer. So yeah that’s my take on it… avoid it! :P
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