Priest & Your Highnesss
Published September 4, 2011 | 
Well the other day my hubby and I missed a showtime at the theater so I got the “bright” idea to rent a couple movies we both had been wanting to see. I kinda wish I could get my money back. 
These movies… well I’ll just start my review.
First is ‘Priest’. The main character is so bland and boring that I think a cardboard cut out would have sufficed for the role. He shows like no emotion. Ok I get it that he’s supposed to be this bad arse guy that slays vampires BUT the acting was stiff. Actually I found the only actor that really got into it, other than one of the head… uh… church dudes was Karl Urban. But I’ve thought he’s awesome since I first saw him in Lord of the Rings, I’m biased I guess. :B
The story was boring. I kept looking at the clock throughout the whole film wondering when it was going to be over. I really hope the graphic novel it’s based off of is better cause… I don’t see how it became a movie in the first place if not. So many characters pop up for a few seconds, aren’t really explained and then just disappear again. The villain was cool, had a retarded name though “black hat”, but he wasn’t in almost half of the movie.
*spoiler* He was supposed to be like this really hard to kill super human/vampire and was pretty tough but then in the end they’re all on this high speed train, the woman makes it explode and she jumps from a speed bike that’s going like 190 mph. She survives, the priest and the person he’s rescuing jump from this train explosion and survive, yet “black hat” just jumps up and is absorbed by the fireball from the train. They clearly showed he can jump like 50 feet in the air and could get beaten to crap and still be alright yet the fireball takes him out. Oh and as a finishing touch his CLOTH hat survives and floats down in front of “priest”. Just… blargh! That was stupid. XD *spoiler*
The main character is flat, the side characters are even more so and even a bit irritating. They don’t explain why certain cities are the way they are and just argh. I got nothing more to say on that.
Music was alright, effects were kinda cool. That’s about the only highlight this film had. It’s no wonder this film got such a low rating. It was not good at all. I won’t say it absolutely sucked cause I didn’t turn it off like I did the next movie… but it’s not worth seeing, not even once.
So now ‘Your Highness’. UGH This movie was so crude, so vile, that we ended up turning it off about 15 minutes in. We were sitting there and Micha looked at me and was all “Is this supposed to be funny? Cause it’s not.” I could not count how many sex jokes were in there and it was just the beginning of the movie. All the characters were as annoying as heck, I had hoped it might be enjoyable, it looked like a good cast, but the writing. What were they thinking?! If you thought ‘Meet the Spartans’ and ‘Epic Movie’ were bad… think again. This movie makes those look like great comedies. Avoid this one at all costs. I want my 15 minutes back…
Rise of the Apes
Published August 23, 2011 | 
Yes I shortened the title because I think that the real title is too long. It woulda been much better and easier to just call it Rise of the Apes, but OH WELL. LOL So anyways, that is like the only thing I have to nitpick about this movie. I am not a fan of Planet of the Apes by a long shot and I loved this movie. I had to be talked into going to see it first though, it was this or Cowboys and Aliens, whichever one played latest on the matinees won so, Apes it was!
I’m glad I went to see it. I normally don’t like the idea of all these “reboots” and prequels to films, but this summer there have actually been some really good ones, this is one of those, the new X-Men is another. Anywho, the story is interesting, paced well and keeps the viewer interested. It’s almost a two hour movie, but doesn’t really seem like it. The characters are very well developed and for once I actually felt emotion for these characters. That’s rare in movies these days; I actually cared what happened to most of them. The actors were well cast, fit their roles great, and the animation of the apes was wonderful. It’s Weta though, they always do amazing work. The music was great, by Patrick Doyle, he also made Thor which has turned into one of my new favorite scores. XD
Overall it’s a great movie, I didn’t get bored with any of it, great character development and it kept me interested in it the entire time. I think this was one of the best movies that came out this summer and definitely the best Planet of the Apes movie. I would recommend it, even if you didn’t like any of the previous Planet of the Apes movies, give this one a try. I will definitely be buying this on DVD, but it’s great to see it on the big screen at least once. 
Fast Five
Published April 29, 2011 | 
My husband is a huge fanboy of these films, so when he saw that there was a new one coming out he danced about in eagerness. So as a trade off for seeing “African Cats” with me I went to see “Fast Five” with him. I think of all the films in the series this was the best one. Non-stop action, over the top scenes, plenty of laughs, and overall just a fun flick. I didn’t get bored while watching it like I did with the 3rd film. I actually fell asleep while watching it.
Anyways, I liked the cast, the story was alright, I mean you can pretty much predict it. It’s very simple but you don’t go to these kinds of movies for the plot. You go to see the action! Explosions and over the top stunts which was pretty much non stop in this film. A lot of the old characters made comebacks, and some were new to me. I think I missed the 4th in the series so I’m not sure if they were new or comebacks. Anyways some of the banter between them could get pretty funny. Scoring was done by Tyler Bates, so it was good, some of the songs thrown in, however, I didn’t care much for, but that’s cause I’m not into rap and etc. Overall, it’s a nice movie to just sit back and enjoy. It doesn’t require much thought, so a good relax to type film. I recommend it to anyone who has enjoyed the Fast and the Furious, and if you were disappointed at all in the last couple, I think this one will make up for it.
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